Getting a grip on living in China
It's old news that I moved from Thailand to China at the beginning of the year. It's also no secret that I loved Thailand and am grateful to myself for giving me the chance to experience living "a la local" in South East Asia. Some said I was "so lucky" to be living in Thailand, but there was no luck involved. I set a goal for myself, set out to achieve that goal, and accomplished that goal. Luck is something that happens when you win a lottery or a jackpot at a casino - my "luck" was that I worked hard to get there, worked hard while I lived there for 5 years, and then decided to make the move to China.
So, against the "advice" of the "Google gurus", acquaintances and a few friends, I came to China anyway to behold all the horror that I was supposed to be surrounded by. I'm still waiting! On the contrary, I've had mostly good experiences here, and the few not so good experiences have not been about the country or the Chinese people. I've been offered kindness and hospitality, friendship and sincerity, advice and information ... the list goes on and on.
I came to China with at best no expectations, and at worst very low expectations of what it would be like to live here. That "don't go there advice" still occupied a small space in my head before I arrived, and once here I was left to wonder "what was all that drivel about?"
I wasn't expecting a "culture shock" coming to China, and in fact the expected "culture shock" when I moved to Thailand didn't happen either. Yes, things were different, but adapting to a different lifestyle and different norms that a Western society dictates was hardly a shock. Go with the flow, learn to appreciate and embrace the differences, show respect and earn respect is all it actually takes to be happy in a foreign country. Each and every country has it's flaws, and if one has to consider every "change" to be a shock, then it's probably better to stay within your comfort zone.
Yes, China is different and I don't by any means agree or even like everything about some Chinese habits. That been said, does anyone actually like everything about any culture at all? No! would be my guess. The difference between the nay- sayers and me is that I chose to come to their country, and I'm therefore duty-bound to leave them to their culture, to obey their laws and not to criticize their beliefs and customs. I'm a guest, and have no delusions that an age-old culture will or should change to suit the whims of the Westerners who continue to cross their own borders to work in China.
Personally, getting a grip on all things Chinese has been a walk in the park, except perhaps that learning Mandarin is a bit of a challenge for me, but I'm trying :-) Getting a grip on the "expats" however is another story completely.
Regardless of nationality, I'm appalled at the behavior, negativity, complaints, competition, pity parties, disrespect, prejudice and hate that is openly displayed, not only against the Chinese or China, but also against each other. When did one nationality become "more superior" to another, and by whose standards? How do colleagues so easily degrade each other? Why do the expats fight amongst each other ad nauseum? Who is to say which religion is the "right" religion or even if any or no religion is of any consequence between one expat and another. The one thing that is too obvious is that the expats - business owners, teachers, back-packer teachers, short-term contract workers and even those who have married Chinese nationals, have nothing good to say about each other or the country they now call home.
It's quite simple really - That is what is wrong with China (and other Asian countries) - The Foreigners, Expats!!
The big question is, why don't they just go back to the Utopia they speak of?